splitting headache & graduation

I've got a splitting headache... I just got back form work about more than an hour ago.

Poon helped me collect my graduation robes and motar board, tickets for my family etc.. but i had to go back to exchange the 'S' size motarboard for 'M'... my head is not so small after all. The robes and the motarboard stinks man.. damn smelly.. oh well.. what to do.. i'm not going to buy new robes just for graduation... it's rented and god knows how many thousand of students have used it along the years... ewww

I'm sick of working like a dog... i do my job well and i work damn friggin hard and fast.. and yet.. i still get nag at.. and what's worst... disrespected..

i respect people alot for what they do.. even if they do me wrong and what so ever.. but i still show respect to u as we are all human beings.. and what's good use if you show your bad traits... so i've decided to suck it up and be stupid enough to still respect you as im not the kind of person to be mean...

i think i'm way too timid and always get push around by literally everyone.. that's why i always get conned with money matters... even when i was little.. my sister would sell her stuff to me.. she tricked me into thinking it'z good stuff... she would sell her stuff turtle for RM5.. and RM5 is alot for a little girl of my age before.... till today.. i can say i've been conned from outsiders.. more than RM3000++ including ridiculous MLMs... those are the worst of all...
i even get conned for buying branded goods.. even though i realize that why do i wanna be like one of those girls or guys out there having own LV, GUCCI, Burberry, BMW etc etc.. but obviously the majority of them got these branded goods with thier parents money... DUH.. and im struggling buying then with my own.. well i ddint buy those mentioned lar... but just the minor stuff like AX, LACOSTE... etc.... but it's eatingg up my money and even though i've worked for about a year here with odd jobs and under minimum wage.. i'm still broke :(

you can call me the most 'BAKA' girl you've known... i'll accept it coz i've been such a pushover.. and i dont think that'll ever change..
no use crying over it too coz if i wanna change... i've gotta be such a BITCH and a LEECH then i can be like one of those materialistic people out there...

well i can be that too when i hit the lottery one day with a few million AU dollars or pounds for that matter... hahaah; one can only hope to dream...

P.S. omg omg omg.. my family would be here in a weeks time!!... and i havent clean up teh house and pack some of my stuff for them to bring home to KCH....